Help, I’m spacing out! ADHD support tools for a scattered day
It’s a Tuesday morning. It’s a workday. I left work yesterday with my head full of things that I must do, want to do, and should do. But now, by the time I realise that I’ve gone to work without remembering to brush my teeth, it’s clear that I’m Spaced Out. I don’t seem to know how to log in to my computer. I don’t know what I cared so much about yesterday. I keep forgetting that I have a face, let alone an expression that affects those around me. Help!
We’re not dealing with an ordinary day here. We’re dealing with an ADHD-brain spaced out day, so we need special strategies that are tailored to the day. I didn’t ask to be born with a brain that sometimes spontaneously spaces out, but here we are, so let’s do what we can with the day that we’ve got.
You may not get spaced out. You may get scattered, restless, or any number of names you have for your ADHD-related states. Things from here may still help if you give them a try. It’s all about setting things up for ourselves to do what we can, using what we’ve learnt about how we work.
It’s helpful to know and name your ADHD states. If you notice you’re spacing out today, you can accept this as the current reality, and pivot to ‘spaced-out state’ strategies.
If you ask yourself to have your best-case-scenario productivity pants on, you’re probably going to struggle, suffer, and be frustrated by how little you do. Instead, if you set your strategies and expectations in tune with how your brain is working today, you’re more likely to get something done, and to do the things that matter most for you today.
Here are some things that can be added to your ADHD strategy toolkit for a spaced out day. You could get a piece of paper, fold it into quarters, write out these three lists, and keep the last quarter spare for emergency doodling.
Give yourself options
When I’m spacing out, my brain is extra keen to reject tasks. It helps to have a range of different sorts of activities that I could feel good about doing, I write them down so I don’t need to remember as I go. Then I just pick the next thing I can stand to do.
It helps to include a mix of possible tasks: physical, admin, creative, involving other people, problem-solving, putting things away…because you never know what you’re going to be able to do on a spaced out day.
You can declare that anything you get done on this list is a win. This is a great way to take the pressure off. Pressure doesn’t tend to help a spaced-out state - it’s more likely to confuddle you (did I make that word up?) or push you into emotional spirals that only distract you from getting anything done.
It may be that special interest activities are totally fine and aren’t affected by the spaced-outedness. Or maybe you’re all good if you’re working with others, but struggle to self-direct. This list of possibilities allows you to follow the flow of your energy for the day.
Tiny tasks
Breaking things down is generally a useful strategy for ADHD-type brains, because big things are likely to prompt immediate recoil (unless they’re interesting to us, in which case making it bigger can actually increase motivation). For this list, you write a bunch of activities that will take 15 minutes or less.
At any point in the day you want to feel like you’re getting something done, set a timer, pick one of these action steps, and go till it’s done or the time is up.
This only works if you’re able to convince yourself that it’s okay to work for small chunks of time. I remind myself that 15 minutes of work is a lot more than 0 minutes of work + 15 minutes of guilt.
You can set little rewards for after a task is done or once you’ve worked for 15 minutes. Having a break every 15 minutes is okay if that’s what’s allowing you to do something rather than nothing.
Be smart about breaks though - don’t risk super-distractions like phone scrolling on a spaced-out day, or you’ll probably get lost in the comments section, and then feel worse afterwards. A better break would be one that grounds you, like walking to a tree, or chatting, or watching the steam rise off your cup of tea…
Pick a few priorities
Yes, I know that prioritising is difficult. Let’s imagine that your ADHD fairy godmother arrives and says they’ll help you to complete three things today. And before you cunningly try to fit an entire project into 3 tasks, they say, don’t muck me around babe - nothing that would take you more than an hour on a good day. What do you pick?
Those are your priorities. You just pick. In my imaginary scenario you only have three choices, and that’s a pretty good rule of thumb for must-dos. You pick your minimum must-dos before you start working for the day, so that your desire in the moment to do the fun, easy stuff doesn’t make your brain lie to you.
Here’s the thing that changed everything for me, and hopefully it will help you too. You now add ADHD support strategies - what can you do to make this easier? You could choose to body double. You could do a screen-based activity at a cafe. You can separate emailing into drafting and pushing the send button (this is really very liberating).
Nowadays, in my daily plan, I always add an ADHD strategy that’s matched to my current state, to help me actually do it. I put this in green pen. Actively thinking about this has become a vital part of working with rather than against my ADHD brain.
In all these lists, I’ve shown how I mark my lists to help keep on track. I put a red asterisk to show my next/current action. When I finish something, I put a red line AND a tick - why not get as much satisfaction as I can out of it?
Using this list of the bare minimum you’ve decided needs to be done today, you can now zigzag towards doing these things. If you get spaced out a lot, you’ll recognise zigzagging towards a task: I’m determined to do this task, so I put on music, then I wash some dishes, then I put on the kettle, then I tidy my desk, then I make a cup of tea, then I take it to my desk, then I turn on the computer, then I water the plants, then I set a timer, then I do some work. Hey presto!
Support your ADHD brain
When I get spaced out, my first urge is to resist it, deny it, get mad with myself, feel sad about how useless I am…usually all at the same time. But what I’m learning to do instead is to recognise it, accept it, let go of my feelings about what it used to mean for me, forgive myself for being a person who spaces out, and then do my best in my spaced-out state.
Ask yourself - what can I do now to make this task easier to do later? What can I do to make this task more attractive to me? How can I make this task look smaller? Who can I ask to support me, and what help will I ask for? (For example, do a body doubling session with me, talk through this task with me and help me write myself instructions, or check that important client email before I send it.)
I’m often surprised by the things that suddenly become able to be done on a day that I’d nearly written off - as long as I keep returning and trying to find a way in. Be open to something working! If you can, use the energy that is unique to the version of spacing out that’s happening today. For example, I find that when I’m really off the air, I can sometimes make surprising strides with a creative task, or get through admin that’s usually too boring to face (provided I have a great checklist for this).
If spacing out happens to you often, leave instructions for yourself to help when this happens. This could be a note on your phone called ‘Advice for a spaced-out day’, or a checklist for how to plan your day, or steps for how to do admin tasks. It’s okay to drift - as long as you have strategies to help you return to what you want to do.
Find your way
For me, being spaced out is like being tossed along in a sea of moments, without an anchor. This is why it helps to leave myself instructions, to get out the objects I’ll need later, to add in helpful strategies - these are my lighthouses. I make things small, make them fun, and set things up to make the task easy to step into. And I’m careful to take breaks in ways that I can return from.
If you’d like help making a plan for what to do on a spaced out day, you can book a coaching session with me.