How to choose ADHD strategies that stick

They say that ADHD often isn’t a problem with KNOWING what to do; it’s a problem with actually DOING it. So technically that makes it a problem of knowing how to GET yourself to do what you want to do! Here are 4 steps that can help you to choose a new self-management ADHD strategy that will actually stick.

Why reactive strategies don’t work

Often we try out a new ADHD tool impulsively. Maybe we get so frustrated with ourselves that we vow to be more strict, or better organised. Perhaps we see an inspirational ADHD hack online and immediately go out and buy the planner/shelves/life-changing-life-hack. Then we use this new strategy religiously until the novelty wears off (I give this two weeks if you’re lucky).

But what if I told you that there’s a way to choose and set up new ADHD strategies that lasts better and is designed to suit YOU, exactly as you are now? And it feels delightfully like procrastination! What is this mysterious secret, I hear you shout?

Start with NOTICING

it all starts with noticing: observing yourself in your natural state to find out what’s actually happening in your challenging moments. First, you carefully choose the area that you want an improvement in, so that it actually feels worth your effort. Next, you resist the urge to rush out and DO something about it, because: You don’t know what the real problem is yet!

No, the problem isn’t you. It isn’t even most of the situation that bothers you. There will be specific points where you get stuck/derailed/frustrated etc, and those are the points that we need a strategy to help with.

A practical example

Somewhere I can get stuck is getting dressed to leave the house. I suddenly find myself lying on the bed, pondering the magic of the human digestive system. Before I decide I must set 18 more alarms for myself or use anxiety as a highly inefficient motivator, I need to observe myself for a few days and notice what’s happening when I go to get dressed.

It turns out that a key point I may lose momentum is when I’m putting on socks. If I go to find the socks I want and I can’t right away, possibly because they’re under a t-shirt, I have an intense peak of frustration. This is the point I’m at risk of collapsing in a half-dressed heap.

Before I noticed the links in this chain of events, it was easy to believe my old story that I’m a professionally lazy person. But when I became aware what happens at the specific moment I run into trouble, I was able to choose a tailored solution. I increased the chances of me finding the socks I like by buying multiple pairs!

Here are the 4 steps that lead to a strategy that’s likely to stick…

1. Choose a specific question

Often we feel like there are a legion of things we need to fix; however, it helps to pick one clear facet of your life to work on at a time.

These are the kinds of things this technique is useful for:

• Working out what situations lead to you eating badly

• Tracking emotional outbursts and what factors lead up to them

• Identifying the gaps in how you record and remember appointments

• Working out how you manage to be late despite your best intentions

For example, you may put off grocery shopping, leading to you not having easy healthy food to eat. You decide to spend a week noticing the obstacles that impact you when you try to get yourself to go grocery shopping.

2. Collect data about yourself

You’ll need to give yourself a clear time frame for this, to focus your attention. One week is a good amount of time - it stays interesting! It also helps to choose a way to record the data you collect. You could make notes on your phone or a piece of paper.

Don’t DO anything yet. If you start doing stuff, you stop noticing your existing patterns. This cuts short your observation time and limits the benefits. To help you resist the urge to take action right away, you can honour any brilliant ideas by noting them down.

Try to remove emotion and judgement from what you’re noticing. It’s hard to process when we’re in an emotionally activated state, so there may be crucial dynamics that you usually miss because you’re so busy feeling shame, guilt or frustration. Engaging your curiosity can keep away the challenging emotions, while heightening your noticing. All fails are useful data!

3. Analyse your data

After you’ve finished your time of noticing, it’s time to engage your superpowers of analysis and pattern-finding. Accept the reality of things you notice that you find challenging, so that you can actually do something practical to help yourself…because, my darling, you can’t work on what you refuse to accept.

We are looking out for where the point of resistance or distraction is. Even in a boring task, you can get yourself to do a lot of the parts without too much fuss. So where are the sticking points? And what exactly is going on, beforehand, during, and as a consequence?

Obstacles may include:

• Feelings (eg suddenly anxiety)

• Thoughts (eg "This other thing is more important")

• Physical stuff (eg plan to take your own shopping bags but then finding them feels overwhelming so you give up)

• Too many steps or unknowns (overwhelm can be a sign of this)

4. Choose something to try

Now you can look at those sticking points and tailor your strategy to support you at that specific moment. (Or you may be able to avoid them completely.) Use that copious creativity!

You’re looking for something small and easy that is likely to have large results. If your question was “Why am I usually late to work in the mornings?”, and you identify that you freeze up while working out what to take for your lunch, you might choose to try packking your lunch the night before. Or you might decide to put a list of simple lunches with pictures on the fridge.

This is where those inspirational Tiktoks come in handy! I’ve found a lot of useful strategy ideas in ADDitude Magazine. And talking it out with someone is often pure gold (even if you shoot down all their helpful suggestions, it still often leads you to dream up a brilliant, simple solution!)

Putting it into practice

One of the beautiful things about the Start with Noticing technique is that it feels like you don’t have to do anything yet! Of course, as you can see from the steps, there’s work involved. But observing yourself living your normal life can seem like luxurious procrastination…and it gets you curious and ready to try out your new tailor-made strategies.

It helps to only make one or two changes at a time. Keep any new systems painfully simple, so that they’re more likely to keep working once you stop hyperfocusing on them. And if you want help with this process, please get in touch!