How to cool down when you’re wound up

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

That’s the sound of me being scared and excited, or as my friend puts it, “scited”.

Why am I scited?

I’m going to run my first online workshop series, ADHD & Me, to help people live well with ADHD. I’ve been working hard to get my ducks in a row (see illustration). And now this new challenge is becoming a reality, I’m terrified! My nervous system is WOUND UP.

When we’re wound up, we’re more at risk of self-destructive behaviours. Our ADHD symptoms are likely to get worse (including on the following days) and we risk ADHD burnout. And it just generally feels yuk.

So what are some ADHD-friendly ways to cool down a nervous system?Notice what’s happening

At the most basic level, you can’t help yourself deal with being really wound up unless you actually realise that you are.

You may be able to feel it. Or you may notice from your behaviour, such as nervous eating. You may find everything extremely irritating.

Whatever your signs are, learn them, and keep an eye out for them. Then you have a decent chance of actually doing something to take care of yourself.

I have a mental picture like this in my mind’s eye. I can ‘see’ it when I’m going into the red zone.

Once I notice myself going into the red zone, I declare a nervous system emergency, and take immediate action to cool off to bring my levels down again. Here are a few things that help me…

Get to the trees

Physical movement is an amazing way to cool down when you’re wound up. Being in nature also helps calm you and disrupts rumination.

When I feel myself getting overwhelmed, I combine them by getting to the trees and walking around amongst them. I have a couple of go-to places, so I don’t need to think, only to put my shoes on.

Talk it out

Talking helps us get out of our heads and invites us to dip our toes in reality. Though you might go over and over the same thought in your mind, you’re less likely to do this out loud to another person, which means that you move forward.

Note: Be careful who you choose to talk with! You don’t want to end up more wound up afterwards.

It can help to let the person know what you want from them. This might sound like: I just want you to listen, I don’t need advice right now. Or: I feel wound up, can you help me make sense of my thoughts?

Do things you enjoy

When you’re wound up, trying to get yourself to work harder isn’t going to be very effective. You need to find a way to cool down first.

Engaging yourself in a task that you like, for half an hour, can calm your nervous system. At the same time, your subconscious has time to catch up and process some of whatever you feel wound up about.

Learn what soothes your nervous system

Relaxing can be a strange concept for people with ADHD. It can help to think instead about ‘soothing your nervous system’.

For reasons that remain mysterious to me, I often find things soothing that might often be considered intense. Dancing around to loud music or doing something difficult and absorbing, for example. This seems to be common for ADHD people. So if your soothing activity involves biking at top speed down a mountainside, go for it!

In times of stress, you can make a list of things you personally find soothing, and put it somewhere very visible. When you go into the red zone, it’s hard to think clearly. If you have a bunch of possible activities written or drawn out where you can easily see them, you greatly increase the chance that you’ll actually pick one and do it!

Here is the list that is now on my wall…

I aim to have things on my list that can be done without much planning or effort, and that can be finished within an hour. It’s crucial to have a range, because strategies wear out and need to be rested.

Once I’ve hit a nervous system emergency, it usually lingers for a few days, so I aim to do a few of these activities a day. I also take extra care around my sleep, as the intensity messes with melatonin production. And I put in extra support strategies for my ADHD symptoms. For example, today I’m going to walk to do work at a nearby cafe, which supports my focus by adding in novelty, and by including movement beforehand.

What do you do to soothe your nervous system when you’re wound up? Do you have any cool down activities that are especially surprising compared to common ideas around what’s relaxing? You are very welcome to get in touch and let me know!