A to-do list that works: 3 steps to doing what you want today

As creative and/or neurodiverse people, we sometimes find it challenging to organise our lives - let alone make time to do what matters to us. The to-do list is one of the simplest, most powerful organisational tools invented. If you struggle to make a to-do list work for you, here is a process I hope will help.

A to-do list is like an external brain. You take less than ten minutes a day to make decisions about what to put on it. Then when you spring into action, you save the huge energy it takes to make decisions, and put that energy towards doing stuff. And the list does the remembering for you…genius!

My story

I am naturally chaotic and forgetful. My brain likes to pick something interesting to be fascinated by, and forget the rest. Other people’s to-do lists have always filled me with a mix of curiosity and envy. I could never consistently use one - first I’d forget to check it, then I’d lose it….if I remembered to make one at all.

One day I got an email from a young composer who wanted to write music to go with one of my poems. I was excited, and a bit overwhelmed. I couldn’t work out what to write back, so I thought I’d wait a day or two to reply.

A year and a half later, I woke up in the middle of the night, wondering if I’d ever answered the email. I hadn’t. I wrote back straight away, and we ended up collaborating on a fun piece together.  This was one of the lucky times - often my forgetfulness led to situations that couldn’t be easily fixed. 

This is before I learnt I had ADHD, and I had hardly any strategies or sense that I could change how life felt for me. But I couldn’t stand to keep missing out on things. I grew determined to find ways to keep track of the tasks I wanted to do. 

I have good news! The ability to use a to-do list isn’t limited to neuro-typical people, or any personality type. I swear, you too can become more organised. And if you’ve struggled with this all your life, as I did, I think you’re going to love it.

Before you start: Make your Mega-list

All sorts of things you mean to do are probably flickering around in your head, only appearing at times that it doesn’t suit you to do them. So, the first thing we want to do is to collect these in one place. Big, small, all welcome! Add to this list when you remember stuff that you believe needs to be done. This way you don’t lose them. 

Try different ways to record your Mega-ist. This is your unique life and your systems need to work for you. Perhaps paper makes things more visible to your brain. I use a free version of the app To-do-ist, because it’s easy to pop things into on my phone. Try stuff - and keep what works.

You may or may not want to consult your Mega-list when you’re writing your daily to-do list. I don’t; I look at mine maybe once a month. Any more often and I want to cry. But having it is a huge relief. I can tell my fretting mind that the tasks are all safely in one place. This lets me relax and focus on whatever I decide is most important right now.

Now you’re ready to get started!

Step 1: Write your list

The key to this system is to have the ambition to write a list every day. This is especially important for people who have things to remember on a daily basis (for example if you’re parenting, doing a project, or have lots of life admin to complete). It takes time to get used to this, and you’ll probably forget sometimes. That’s okay - start again tomorrow. 

Aim to write your list at same time every day - either in the morning or the night before. Link writing your list with something you always do (I have a self-care routine that writing my list is the last step of, but morning coffee will work just as well). 

Devote up to 10 minutes to it. Check your calendar system to see what else is happening today. (This also reminds you of what’s going on.) You can check ahead for things coming up you want to be ready for. I suggest limiting your daily to-do list to 6 things maximum. If you’re easily overwhelmed, keep the list shorter and the tasks simple while you build up trust in your ability to follow your own instructions.

Write tasks in the “Verb - noun” pattern: ‘Email Jen’, ‘Wash hair’.  Be specific. You can give amorphous tasks a solid outcome by including time: ‘Research courses for half an hour’. Break complex tasks down into their sections to help motivation (for example ‘Ask gallery for show’ can be replaced with: ‘Write draft email’, ‘Find creative CV’, ‘Work out who to send email to’, ‘Send email to gallery.’) And if you know you tend to avoid certain tasks, now is a good time to suggest a strategy (‘Fill in form - do at cafe’).

Prioritise - either through putting a * on the three most important things, or by numbering them in the order you want to do them in. Think about timing - plan to do anything hard, new, unknown or creative early on, while you’re fresh. And if you pop a ‘5’ beside anything that takes 5 minutes or less, you’re more likely to smash it out!

Step 2: Work that list!

Put your to-do list somewhere visible, preferably in a place that you walk past ten times a day. Tick or cross things off as you do them (adding flourishes and exclamation marks is definitely good form). It’s not necessarily about banging all those tasks out. If you’re like me and all your thoughts occur at once, you only need to make sure that you keep circling back to the list.

If you find yourself stuck on a task because it seems boring or not motivating, go back to the big picture reason that you chose to put it on your list in the first place. Take a moment to connect with your feelings and vision of that big picture, then mentally link that to the task.

Use a timer to break through resistance to working on a task. Let’s say you want to update your CV, but you’ve been procrastinating so long that the idea of looking at it hurts. Your list might read: Review CV for half an hour. Sneak up to your desk and set a timer for 30 minutes. Now all you need to do is open your CV and stay there till the timer goes off! This works like magic.

Step 3: Review

While you’re setting up this system, this step is extra important. Your guiding principle: If it works, keep it; if it doesn’t work, tweak it. If you treat it like an experiment, with curiosity, ‘failure’ becomes learning. You may also notice uncomfortable feelings while doing these steps, which are probably the rumblings of a lifetime of negative associations around planning. The easiest way to shift these feelings, and the stories that go with them, is to keep gently trying stuff (perhaps with journaling or coaching as extra support).

Once your to-do list is working for you, the review step is mainly to check if you got stuck on any task, and help you unstick yourself again. 

When you’ve done enough for the day, ask yourself: What did you tick off today? Celebrate, feel proud, be thankful. Anything you do is more than nothing (which, if you’re still reading this, you know is a real possibility).

Look at each of the remaining items in turn. Is it still important? Do you want to put it on tomorrow’s list, or set a reminder to put it on your list at a later date? Make sure that all items are either declared irrelevant, put back on your Mega-list or arranged to appear on a future to-do list. You don’t want to lose anything!

If you didn’t do something, try to not judge or bully yourself about it. Check in with your body and thoughts - are any difficult feelings or beliefs triggered by this task? 

If so, break the task down into the smallest steps you can think of. A lot of steps will look relatively easy now. Mark the parts that are triggering or challenging. Do you need to get help for this step? Can you isolate the parts you need to be brave for? Can you do one tiny step a day, to give yourself time to cool off in between?

Go forth and organise

A to-do list is an external executive function support - a way to help your brain to remember and be motivated to do what you choose to do. Your current organisational ability isn’t some kind of natural limit. I don’t know if you can change your brain, but I do know that you can change your behaviour, with the right supports in place. You - yes you - can get better at being organised. The to-do list is great place to start.

As I’ve gotten better at organising my life, the best outcome is being able to trust that I’ll mostly do what I choose to do. (The scary part is realising that this means I have to take responsibility for what I want, on a daily basis.)

May the power of the to-do list transform your life!