The relaxing magic of the jot-down book

For people with ADHD, executive functions are often challenged, and this can include difficulties with memory. Yes, I know you can remember the stuff you’re interested in, probably in exquisite detail. But the power bill, that appointment you need to fill out a form for, and what you did on the weekend - poof! Sometimes it feels like not only have I forgotten the specific thing, I’ve forgotten that the entire category exists…

So, here’s an ADHD tool that can remind ADHDers of what they want to remember, at a suitable time, with the bonus effect of allowing folks to relax a little.

Imagine you’re in the middle of a meeting, and you suddenly remember (yet again) that your friend’s birthday is next week and you want to get them a present.

Do you:

A.Stop what you’re doing and rush off to get the present (awkward!)

B.Try to hold the thought in your head (and wake at 2am with a surge of adrenalin)

C.Note it down quickly, and hope you notice the note later

D.Note it down quickly in a way that you definitely will see it later, at a time you can actually do something about it

As you may have guessed, the response that helps you have a more peaceful life is D. This involves setting up and training yourself to use a simple system that I call ‘the jot-down book’. Knowing that you can trust your system allows you to let go of the looping reminder and focus on whatever you’re actually doing right now.

Firstly, you set up a jot-down book that serves as a holding container, and add to that book as you remember things you don’t want to forget. Secondly, for when you’re out and about, you choose a reliable way to leave notes for yourself to transfer to the jot-down book when you’re at home. Thirdly, you wander past your jot-down book occasionally and see the things you want to remember. 

Seeing the things in your jot-down book means you can choose to do them, shift them to your calendar, or leave them till later. And you can trust they’re not lost into oblivion, so your brain can relax. 

Why it matters

Planning for the future is an executive function that’s often challenged in people with ADHD-type brain patterns. Past frustrations with running an organisation system may mean we try to hold the things that are important to do in our heads instead. We may try to remember them. 

But wait, you say, isn’t memory also an executive function that is often challenged in people with ADHD-type brain patterns? Why, yes, yes it is.  

The mental effort of trying to remember important things is exhausting! It can also trigger anxiety and self-bullying, old strategies that we may use to attempt to force ourselves to recall those important to-dos constantly. All this in the hope that at some point we’ll think of the thing we want to do at the same time that it’s actually possible to do something about it.

If you want to relax more and feel less anxious, it can help to run a very simple organisation system for holding onto the things you want to remember, outside of your head. 

The jot-down book is one that works for me, and has now helped a lot of other people too!

The system has three parts:

Part 1: jot things you want to remember down in your jot-down book

Part 2: find a reliable way to leave notes for yourself when away from home, to move to the jot-down book when you can

Part 3: look at the jot-down book when deciding what to do, or check it to make sure there’s nothing on there that needs to be kept front-of-mind today

The jot-down book

This is where you jot down the things that you want to remember. It could be things to do ‘at some point’, or things that need to be done soon. The jot down book is a holding space for the ideas, so you don’t need to carry them in your head.

As soon as a thing you want to remember pops into your head, you rush off and jot it down in the jot down book. Because it’s so quick to pop something into the jot-down book, you don’t need to distract yourself from what you’re currently doing. This is also where you keep the reminder notes that you make when you’re out and about.

A jot-down book could be an exercise book that stays open in a prominent place in your home. Leaving it open makes sure that you don’t forget that the stuff inside it exists. When you put your jot-down book in a place that you’ll often see it, this prompts you to scan it and see if there’s anything you want to do in there.

Crucially, the jot down book is not a to-do list. It’s a holding container. You can cross things off as you process them: perhaps they get done, moved to your calendar, dismissed as not relevant, given to someone else to do, or put into a reminder system to resurface at the time you want to be reminded of them. You can also just leave them in there, and every now and then flick back through the pages and see if there’s anything that you now want to do something about.

Leaving a reliable note for later

Of course, you’re not always at home, so you want a way to note things down to shift to the jot-down book later.

Whatever system you use, you want it to be so easy to leave the note for yourself that you aren’t put off by the process, or distracted from what you were already doing. And it needs to be obvious enough when you’re back home that you will remember to transfer the notes to your jot-down book. There will need to be some kind of prompt to do this, such as setting a reminder for the time you’ll be at home, or having a notification visible.

Here are a couple of common note-leaving strategies:

Writing on your hand is a common strategy already used by many of us. You will need to carry a pen. The risks are washing your hands, not being able to read your own writing, or that people may ask you why you have ‘poodle police’ written on your hand. The advantages are that you can’t misplace your hands and you are likely to notice them.

Using your phone is probably a stronger system in the long run, provided that you find that way to do it that suits you. This could look like: emailing yourself, using a Notes ap, using a task management app like Todoist (this is what I use - the free version), setting reminders on an app or calendar (you may be able to do this by speaking), or texting yourself.

The risks of using your phone include: putting the reminder note somewhere in the depths of your phone and not ever looking at it, getting distracted by your phone, or seeing it at a time when it’s not suitable to process. But the advantages are that once you find a way to quickly put it in and train yourself to check the system regularly, it’s pretty foolproof, as long as you carry your phone with you anyway.

Tried and proved

If you already have thought a lot about organisation systems, you can see how very simple this system is. This makes it able to be maintained pretty easily.

I use this system myself, and have helped lots of people set up their own versions of it.  The relaxation and relief from anxiety that this brings takes them by surprise: they hadn’t noticed how much they were running reminder loops in their minds.

The huge benefit of setting up a system like this is that you don’t have to try to remember things. You can use your big beautiful brain for things that are more interesting, like wondering how Roman plumbing worked, or what kind of dog breed you’d be if you were a dog. Or perhaps focusing on whatever you’re currently doing!

If you want help to work out a version of the jot-down book that suits your specific situation, I can help! You can book a coaching session with me, and we can work out simple systems that work for your unique ADHD self.